You’re probably already familiar with Booktopia’s 10 Terrifying Questions. You can read my published answers to the questions here. All of which are sensible, well thought out and hopefully, make for an interesting read.
However on a whim, I decided to do a second, parody answers to the same questions. These are just for fun and are not meant to be taken seriously. They are made-up answers that amused me so I thought I’d share them.
Without further ado, here are Ten Parody Answers to Ten Terrifying Questions:
1. To begin with why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself – where were you born? Raised? Schooled?
Born in the slums of London, I was schooled at Teheran’s elite terrorist Madrassa, and currently living life as a wanted double agent disguised as a historical fiction writer.
2. What did you want to be when you were twelve, eighteen and thirty? And why?
At 12, I wanted to be a princess.
At 18, I wanted to dominate the world.
At 30, I was knee deep in baby poo and could not think clearly.
3. What strongly held belief did you have at eighteen that you do not have now?
I can dominate the world.
4. What were three works of art – book or painting or piece of music, etc – you can now say, had a great effect on you and influenced your own development as a writer?
Wham – Wake me up before you go go.
Abba – Dancing Queen.
Brittany Spears – Baby hit me one more time.
I have them all playing at the same time when I’m writing. It helps me to concentrate.
5. Considering the innumerable artistic avenues open to you, why did you choose to write a novel?
I can’t for the life of me hold a tune and no one was interested in buying my stick figure drawings.
6. Please tell us about your latest novel…
I made the whole thing up…
7. What do you hope people take away with them after reading your work?
Support for my world domination.
8. Whom do you most admire in the realm of writing and why?
J K Rowling – she’s richer than the Queen. In fact at one stage I tried passing myself off as JK Rowling writing under the pen name of Banafsheh Serov. Unfortunately much like my quest for world domination and stick figure artistry, it failed to take off.
9. Many artists set themselves very ambitious goals. What are yours?
I only have one: World domination.
10. What advice do you give aspiring writers?
Join me. Together we’ll rule the world!!!